it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
