Having a random hookup so left but love u
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
