just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
