thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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