More tranny stories later!
Me too!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
