I'm so fucking centered right now
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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