i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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