shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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