so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
