Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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