You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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