Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
