david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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