Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
