He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
