I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.