Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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