Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special