the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
