More tranny stories later!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
