Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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