i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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