I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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