Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
