Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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