i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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