The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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