too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize