I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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