I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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