P.S. I can't hear my feet
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
