i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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