why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
