Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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