Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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