we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
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Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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