I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
