that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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