yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she smelled like a LAN party
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
