You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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