This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
