i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
