Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
