maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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