I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
