somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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