Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am puke
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
