Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
