Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
