The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
