EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
