After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
