if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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