How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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