Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
