you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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