Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
