the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
