How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
