morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
