also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
