she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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