k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize