A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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