God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
