I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
