Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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