we're blogging at a bar
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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