sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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