this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
